Roar!
-SharkInstead of doing a review I will just point out the crap that inhabits this film.
- The shark roars like a lion.
- Mario Van Peebles does a Jamaican accent
- The shark swims from New York to the Bahamas in less then 3 days.
- This is the sequel that popularized the tagline “This time it’s personal!”
- African Americans feet apparently look Caucasian under water
- The god damn shark is hunting one family, even members that weren’t born yet during the last attack.
- The film tries to suggest that there’s some sort of psychic link between Ellen Brody (Lorraine Gray) and the shark
- Roy Scheider was hospitalized because he busted a gut laughing when offered a cameo in this film.
- In the 4 years since the last film the character of Mike Brody changed professions from engineer to marine biologist, got married and now has a 5 year old daughter.
- The shark is apparently a cyborg as you clearly see mechanical parts coming in and out of him throughout the film.
- The bottom of the ocean in the Bahamas looks incredibly like a swimming pool on occasion.
- Ellen Brody continuously has flashbacks to events she never witnessed.
- Mike Brody is not nearly alarmed enough when his mother’s prediction that a Great White Shark will show up in the Bahamas to attempt to kill him actually happens a few days later.
- Having sex with Michael Caine will make you forget that you were depressed about your son being killed by a shark 3 days ago.
- The shark is so scary that it can make blood appear in the water when it hasn’t attacked anyone yet.
-Michael Caine is so hot that his clothes instantly dry when drenched.
- Sailboats and sharks can bend space and time in the Bahamas (see ending)
- This shark is apparently not cold blooded, but has nitroglycerin pumping through it’s veins causing it to EXPLODE violently if punctured with ANYTHING taking out any large nearby structures with it.
- The fucking shark roars like a fucking lion.
via Letterboxd [x]